Rapt In Nameless Reveries

 Our family home stood for over 450 years, thick walled, sturdy, and patiently holding generations of laughter, arguments and whispered secrets. In the mornings, sunlight spilled across the jewel-shaped lawn, catching on hibiscus petals so red the front yard appeared to crown the house. The house glowed from within, proud of its age, alive with the lives lived within its walls. At its heart was a courtyard open to the sky — a quiet square of light that tied the house together. Rain would fall straight into it, sunlight would spill across its floor, and at night we’d lie on our backs, tracing constellations through the hollow above. It was the house’s breathing space, its open heart. My grandfather spent his afternoons there, in a worn cane chaise chair facing the courtyard. He’d sit quietly, watching us play — his presence steady and calm amid the chaos of running feet, shouted games, and cousins tumbling over one another. I have wondered how many generations of grandparents the an...

It began on the statistically most unreasonable day of the week - a Tueday. Her coffee machine sputtered, hissed and gave up the will to live. She stared at it for a whole minute before she realized she didn't have the mental bandwidth to care. Somewhere in the background, a child was screaming about a pain in a limb right before homework time and another about fractions, and someone else - possibly herself - was crying. She had 5 children. This meant she hadn't had an uninterrupted thought since the Obama administration.  Still, she tried to take “self-care” seriously. Instagram insisted it was the key to mental stability. So she bought the recommended candle—“Glow From Within”—for $39.99. It claimed to “reset the nervous system and help you Glow From Within”. It did not. But it did briefly mask the scent of garbage waiting to be taken out and despair. Her friends told her she seemed "centered". She was - between a mental breakdown and apathy. Her wellness routine wa...